Ataxic Fantastic

Somewhere between the pregnancy books, the antenatal classes and the endless "top tips" articles, there's a chapter missing. Nobody tells you that one day, you'll feed your baby for the very last time, and you won't even know it's the last time until it's already behind you. I thought stopping breastfeeding would feel like relief. A little bit of freedom back. My body, my time, my choice. And in some ways, it is all of those things. But it's also something I wasn't prepared for at all: it feels like grief. Not the dramatic, cinematic kind. The quiet kind. The kind that creeps in on a random Tuesday when you're in the shower and it hits you that you'll never do that again. That specific closeness, that particular way your baby looked up at you, gone. Not because anything bad happened. Just because time moved on, the way it always does, whether we're ready or not. Nobody tells you your hormones will grieve too This is the part I r...