My Invisible Illness

It's 2017 and mental health is more relevant than ever.  50% of mental health problems are established by age 14 and 75% by age 24. 10% of children and young people (aged 5-16 years) have a clinically diagnosable mental problem, yet 70% of children and adolescents who experience mental health problems have not had appropriate interventions at a sufficiently early age. This can have a profound impact on the lives of tens of millions of people in the UK, and can affect their ability to sustain relationships, work, or just get through the day. Depression has been linked to an increased risk of heart disease among other things. Disorders such as eating disorders lead to organ failure, but what if somehow the root of these problems could have been tackled. Mental health can have a significant effect on physical health BUT vice versa. When I got diagnosed I was in a state of shock, feelings of panic and despair rushed through my mind.  The fact that the future I had always wanted wasn't as achievable as I had hoped was daunting. Around a month later I was referred to a psychologist who helped me through all these new problems I was facing.

It's okay to not be okay.

My anxiety and depression were at their worst during that period, sleepless nights disrupted my day and eventually it got easier to just not leave the house. I would cancel on my friends at last minute, choosing a night in watching TV over going to a party turned into a habit. A habit I could not break. Depression made me irritable, moody and angry, I could not see the point in anything and lost interest in everything.

The best advice I ever got was from my psychologist, she told me to view my depression and anxiety as annoying siblings. Imagine you’re throwing a party and they want to join in. Instead of standing by the door and not letting them in (and missing the party); let them in, and even if you’re still conscious of them being there and they’re still playing on your mind, you’ll at least get to go to the party. And maybe, surprisingly, a few people may accept your annoying and embarrassing sibling.

Getting out of bed (especially at uni) can still be a challenge somedays. I still have a few (not so frequent) sleepless nights and being a nice and friendly person is an effort but all I (or anyone) can do is try. I’ve been lucky enough to meet some amazing people that have accepted me which was something that was giving me anxiety months before I even arrived!

I’m still fighting, as many others out there are, that’s the worst bit about a mental health condition. It’s an invisible illness, you can never tell what someone has to fight.

“Sometimes I’m fine just means…I have the strength to carry on”